The Reason for the Rules
by sweetopia
Summary: Bernard Black comes home from a lengthy stint at the pub only to fine the reason for the rules on the chalkboard is sitting on his desk again after four years - and she's hot. BernardXoc


Macey: so I thought I might try out some Black Books fanfiction. I'm using girlnextdoor101's OC Ava.

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1.

Drunk, Bernard stumbled through the door to his home and book shop. It was just past five in the evening and all of the customers would have been gone – which was the only reason he had come home. It was even before lunch that he had decided that _people_ were not what he wanted today. He took to the pub for solitude and, as always, a few to many drinks; leaving the shop in Fran and Manny's capable hands.

It was safe to say that the very last thing he wanted to see when he walked through the door was another human being. Let alone _her._ The " _her"_ in question was, if Bernard had time for such things, his nemesis. Ever since he had opened the book shop _she_ had been there – questioning him, buying…things... _She_ was the reason he had written the rules on the old chalk board and _she_ had broken every single one of them. It was just before he hired Manny that she finally stopped showing up.

"You!" Bernard yelled pointing, "What are you doing here?"

 _She_ looked up from her glass of wine and smiled. Perched on his desk was the woman who had infuriated him so over the years and she was drinking his wine!

"Answer me!"

At that moment Manny came out of the kitchen.

"Why would you let _her_ in here?" Bernard demanded, swaying slightly – giving away his intoxicated state.

"I thought she was a friend!" Manny defended, holding up his hands and looking between the woman and his friend in confusion. "Oh no is this…what's her face? Emma!"

Bernard scoffed at the mention of his ex-fiancée's name. If only it were Emma. Emma he could have dealt with, but this woman was hard to get rid of.

"No, actually, my name is Ava," the woman answered, her accent very almost indiscernible as Irish. Manny couldn't have guessed where she was from had he not asked her before Bernard had returned. "If Mr Black doesn't want me here then I guess I'd better leave." She sighed, uncrossed her legs, briefly showing a little too much skin as her skirt rose up (to which Bernard's cheeks inadvertently suffused with heat) and slid off of the desk.

 _Mr Black._ Bernard's insides burned when she called him that. She knew just how to get under his skin. It was certain that she had changed over the four years since he had gotten rid of her. Bernard noted how she had changed her hair colour and how much she had matured since being the fresh faced university student that had first walked through those doors. Bernard shook his head and looked away, waiting for her to leave.

"No, no, stay!" Manny said suddenly. Bernard turned to glare at him. "At least finish your wine?"

"You mean my wine," Bernard muttered throwing himself down onto his chair behind the desk.

Ava paused briefly before returning to the desk and picking up the glass. She swirled the burgundy liquid around in her glass, watching Bernard over the rim.

"I see you haven't changed," Ava said after a few moments of awkward silence.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Bernard asked in distain.

"You're still as grumpy as the day I first came in, _Mr Black_ ," she replied simply. Bernard rolled his eyes back into his head and groaned in distaste. He really was too drunk for this. As they all sat there in silence, Bernard tried to pinpoint exactly what it was about Ava that irritated him so much. Really she was just like any of the other pretty girls that come by his store almost every day – except for that fact that she came back. She just kept coming back – almost every day for four years. And she talked and talked and talked. Though as Bernard was thinking this, he noticed that she was very quiet, and so he stopped thinking and started looking.

"So what do you do for a living?" Manny asked, in an attempt to ease the awkwardness.

Ava perked up immediately. Oh no, Bernard thought, bracing himself for the onslaught of information.

"Oh, you know, this and that," she responded. "I'm working at an antiques place nearby. That's why I thought I'd stop in. See all of the old places from my uni days."

Once again the room fell silent. Bernard watched her take a long sip of her wine and thanked heavens that she had learned to keep her mouth shut. All of a sudden Ava downed the rest of the glass of wine she had been nursing.

"I'd better leave," she sighed, always with the sighing (yet another thing that irritated Bernard). "Thanks for having me Manny, it was lovely meeting you. I'd best be off. Mr Black has never been too fond of me, I'm sure he'd appreciate me leaving."

Bernard gave a wave of dismissal and for a brief moment he saw a flash of hurt in the woman's eyes. Not that he cared. And so Bernard watched Ava walk out of the door, his eyes couldn't help but follow the shape of her body as she walked and he caught himself staring at the tightness of her skirt.

"She's very pretty," Manny commented. Bernard looked up – caught off guard.

"Is she? I hadn't noticed," Bernard lied. He had noticed. She had only gotten prettier. He reached for the bottled and poured himself a glass, contemplating why she had even come back to this shop in the first place if she knew that he didn't like her. It wasn't hugely personal – Bernard Black prized himself on hating everyone. Suddenly the image of her hurt expression as he dismissed her flashed into his head and he was rather put off his wine. Slamming the glass down he grumbled to Manny about going to bed and retired for the evening.

It wasn't until noon the next day that Bernard came down the stairs to a rather busy shop. He hadn't slept well the night before and no amount of cigarettes was helping. He sat down heavily in his chair and picked up the nearest book – Tolkien – and immersed himself in it, letting Manny do all of the work.

"Excuse me."

Bernard mumbled a response, not really hearing exactly what the person had said or who the person saying it was.

"Excuse me…" the voice interrupted him again. "…Mr Black?"

"What!?" He snapped looking up, knowing exactly who it was. No one called him _Mr Black_ no one but _her._ Bernard was alarmed to see her face so close to his own and pushed himself back in his chair. Last night the alcohol had been clouding his vision slightly, but this Ava (the woman with soft red hair, wide blue eyes and all of the maturity of someone much older than herself) was so much different than the girl who had stopped showing up at his store four years ago. Her soft red (this was new) hair was pinned back in to a bun – wisps of curled hair fell around her face and framed her eyes. Bernard could feel them looking into his own.

"I think I left something here," Ava said, straightening up. Bernard even noticed that she dressed nicer. The tight pencil skirt and sweater really were an improvement from her sweatpants and t-shirts he remembered her running around in. "It's a ring. Have you seen it?"

"No," he replied bluntly.

"Please Mr Black! It's very important I'm supposed to be returning it tomorrow!"

"Returning it?" Now that had piqued his interest.

Folding her arms over her chest, Ava shook her head at him.

"I broke up with my Fiancé last week and I'm giving him the ring back tomorrow," she explained. "I need it."

Bernard had to stop himself from smiling at her misery, inside he was positively smug. He paused, not really recalling much from the night before (though rather lewd thoughts of her short skirt flitted into his mind – which he repressed instantly). He definitely couldn't remember a ring.

"Haven't seen it," he responded and sank back into his chair, slyly watching her over the top of his book. Ava's face dropped and Bernard felt…something... "Go ask Manny."

Ava waited quietly a few steps away from the desk as Bernard Black once again immersed himself in a book. She watched, as she had so many times before, as he sank deeper into his chair – shoulders hunched – and eyes glazed over. He was gone from this world. Ava had always admired this about him – his ability to loose himself completely in a book. Finally, Ava walked away, searching the shelves for Manny.

As she looked, Ava grew nostalgic. This place had been like a second home to her at University, she had moved a long way to study in London and whenever she felt home sick, which was almost every day, she would come into the shop. Eventually it had become less about being homesick and more about a certain surly Irish man, but Ava would never let anyone know about that. She brushed her fingers along the spines of some of the books, trying to resist the urge to buy them.

"Ah Manny," Ava called out catching sight of him. The man in question took a few steps back around the book shelves to greet her.

"Back so soon?" he asked, peering over her shoulder to where Bernard was reading at his desk. "Does he know you're here?"

"Oh yes," Ava smiled softly. "I was wondering if I had left a ring here last night. It's silver with a diamond…I had it when I came in but when I left it wasn't on my finger…"

Manny paused.

"You're engaged?"

"Well I was," Ava replied a little dejected. "It would never have lasted…I'm supposed to be returning it to him tomorrow. If I show up without a ring I'm going to look like a horrible person."

"Oh no. I'll have a look around…If you come by later after the shop is closed I'll see if I can get it to you," Manny said hurriedly as about half a dozen more customers piled into the shop. Ava thanked him and hurried to get out of the way.

The air was frigid as Ava wandered down the street. She wrapped her coat around her and scanned the road for a new coffee shop, but only saw the same old pub. In her Uni days lunch time was perfectly acceptable for heading out for a drink, but now? Ava hesitated…what would Robert say? She caught herself, who cared what her goody two shoes ex fiancé thought, and stormed into the pub.

Ava spent all of the afternoon drinking and ranting to the bar tender about her current situation…

"I mean…What kind of man actually threatens to leave you because you're following your dreams? And then…Then when I said fine go and leave he suddenly cares so much about the stupid ring that…I might I add, picked out for myself! The fucking bastard!" Ava half yelled, she wasn't drunk, just flushed with wine and it had loosened her inhibitions somewhat. "Oh shit is that the time?"

It was gone ten when Ava ran down the street to the book shop. She thanked god the lights were still on, though when she tried the door handle it was locked. Swearing, Ava banged on the door.

"Manny are you in there?"

No response. Ava pressed her face up to the glass, but there was no sign of Manny. Bernard, however was drinking wine at his desk and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Mr Black let me in, I need to speak to Manny," Ava yelled. Bernard looked away and took a sip of wine. "I know you can hear me you horrible Irish bastard now let me in!"

Bernard was quite taken aback at the prolific swearing that was being yelled though the door. So much so that he actually opened it. Ava stormed past him and he caught the faint scent of pomegranate jumbled up in the smell of wine and smoke. Something in Bernard stirred as he looked at the woman in front of him, her innocent demeanour replaced by fiery anger.

"Manny's not here," Bernard said defensively. "He went out about an hour ago."

"Oh," Ava suddenly felt bad for shouting at him. "I'm sorry Bernard, I've just had a bit too much to drink."

Wait. Bernard looked at her in shock. She had just called him Bernard. That however wasn't the weirdest part of it – now that she had called him by his first name he realised that he preferred her calling him Mr Black…and not in a formal way.

"Oh it's Bernard now is it? So friendly now are we?" He asked in a sharp tone. Ava apologised again.

"Will you help me look for my ring then…Mr black," she paused before addressing him, as if afraid of him shouting at her. Bernard tried to ignore the rising feeling in his trousers. It was wrong; he reasoned with himself…she was the enemy.

"Fine, the sooner you find it the sooner you'll leave me alone," he muttered.

If Bernard was entirely honest, he did more watching than searching for the lost engagement ring. He watched as the pretty red head tottered about the shop looking this way and that. He liked the way she looked when she was drunk, the slight flush of her cheeks and the heaving of her chest was rather agreeable. Bernard was struggling with inner conflict when Ava yelled out "Aha!"

"Have you found it?" he shouted, not being able to actually see her. Much to his surprise she popped up from behind his desk.

"No, but I found this!" She laughed holding up a bottle of red. "It's my favourite! Let's have some."

"Glasses are…just…yeah…"

Ava pulled out two glasses and poured wine almost to the very top.

"I take it, it's been a long day," Bernard asked picking up his glass and looking at the volume of wine in it.

Ava merely grimaced and took her glass over to the couch where she, not so gracefully, sat down and kicked her heels off. There was an awkward silence as Bernard hovered not really sure of what he was going to do next. He looked at her as she miserably gulped her wine and he felt a little bit sorry for her. He remembered the harrowing depression that came with learning that his fiancée had died (and then discovering that it was all a lie). Ava must have been going through a hard time. Bernard sighed and sat down next to her.

"Bit of an asshole this guy then?" he asked, trying to be supporting.

"Not really," Ava replied. "Not enough of one I suppose. Too nice…Too ugh normal. One time I asked if we could try something new in the bedroom and he said 'But I thought you liked missionary'. That's was literally it the end of discussion. Not that I only broke up with him because he was shit at sex…I'm not that shallow."

"Of course not…" Bernard said with a pained expression. He did not want to be discussing her disappointing sex life much longer.

"But I just thought there might be more…I've only ever been with one man…so I don't really know, but is that all there is too it. Awkwardly laying on your back while some guy awkwardly writhes around on top of you? It didn't even feel good. I guess I just wanted to try someone – I mean something…else… you know I've never had an orgasm with him." Ava sighed. Bernard wasn't really sure why she was saying all of this, but it certainly wasn't helping the feelings of temptation.

"Sex isn't all that you know…I mean…sure it can be…" Bernard tried to think of something supportive again, but could only think of, "absolutely mind blowing…but it's got to be with the right person."

"Oh wow thank you that was really hepful," Ava said sarcastically. "Don't worry, you might have had an awful sex life for the past three years, but mine's been great." Ava mocked his voice and glared at him.

"It actually hasn't been that great really," Bernard sighed, swallowing a mouthful of wine and emptying the rest of his glass. "Women don't seem to like me when they find out I'm a good for nothing horrible Irish bastard."

Ava looked at him with a guilty expression.

"You know Bernard…I mean _Mr Black_ …I like that you're such a horrible Irish bastard," Ava said softly, her words were slurring slightly, but Bernard understood what she was getting at. Suddenly he felt nervous. This was wrong. All wrong. They were supposed to hate each other. "Mr Black…I think I'm ready to find out what sex should really be like."

"Oh god," Bernard muttered as Ava set her glass down and turned to face him.

"Do you think I should ask Manny out?" she asked.

"What!?"

Ava laughed suddenly indicating he had fallen for her joke. Bernard's mind had been so shocked and angered by her joke that he was surprised to find himself kissing her. Ava gasped in to his mouth, but the feeling of her hands in his hair assured him that she was into it.

They tangled together and Bernard was overcome with the need to make this woman feel extensive realms of pleasure. Ava on the other hand seemed just happy to be kissing him. Never the less Bernard began working off her clothes. At first she was hesitant, almost unsure, she kept looking at him as if this were some sort of joke, but Bernard persevered – suddenly very curious about what had been hidden underneath all of those horrible t-shirt and men's sweater combo's. It was safe to say he was more than pleasantly surprised. Her breasts were full and perky with such pale skin that Bernard felt compelled to bite down on it mottling it in red blotches.

"Oh Bernard," she moaned.

"Call me Mr Black," he whispered against her skin and the next time she called his name she called him Mr Black. Bernard could feel his erection aching to be touched and so he took her hand and pulled it towards him. Ava quickly caught his drift and the wine had made her bold. In almost an instant he trousers and underwear were off. Bernard halted, removing his jacket and shirt while he watched Ava wiggle her way drunkenly out of her pencil skirt until she was just standing in only a pair of lacy black knickers.

"Come here," he demanded and she walked towards him. Bernard grabbed at her ass firmly, making her squeal, and pulled her knickers to the floor. "Now sit." Bernard instructed, pulling her forwards and laying back on the sofa. Ava hesitated. "Oh for god's sake, just sit on my face already."

"What?" Ava mumbled confused and so Bernard positioned her with one leg either side of his face. "What are you…ohhhh…"

Bernard gripped Ava's hips and pulled her towards his mouth. Ava gasped and moaned at the sensation as Bernard's tongue deftly flicked across her clit. With one hand he reached up and gently rubbed her nipple, and with the other he held her in place. It didn't take Bernard long to get Ava off, he'd figured it wouldn't as he had assumed (and quite correctly) that she'd never had oral sex before…at least not on her anyway.

"Mr Black!" She gasped as she came, rocking her hips against his face as she did. Bernard was more than pleased with himself. "Thank you so much!"

"Oh we're not done yet sweetheart," Bernard told her his irish accent was gruff and it sent shivers down her spine.

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R&R!


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